Re: Typos

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Topic review

Expand view Topic review: Re: Typos

Re: Typos

Post by Elyse » Tue Feb 26, 2019 4:46 pm

Surtain's new bar in Tear:


Surtain to Get Drunk
The newest establishment in Tear, this bar evokes friendliness and
cleanliness. Made of dark wood and leather, and with bread always in the
oven, this is comfort made into a bar as the warmth of the fireplace keeps
the cold at bay. As a home away from home, this spot is a popular
destination for locals and foreigners alike.

A sign neatly hangs above the counter and a plaque is fastened to a nearby
[ obvious exits: N ]
A mug has been left here.
A large stone fireplace is set into the wall.
A long wooden table offers room for patrons.
An inviting black velvet armchair. [3]
A Tairen bloodstock stallion stands here, tail swaying with the breeze.
Andera of Murandy is standing here.
A Valon guardsman is on duty here.
Surtain the Legendary Barkeep is resting here on an inviting black velvet armchair.
Meia din Suthon stands here, eyeing your purse.
A merchant guard eyes you warily, intent on keeping order.
A merchant guard eyes you warily, intent on keeping order.
A bartender serves customers with a greedy smile.
A cat is here, resting lazily.

* S HP:Healthy SP:Bursting MV:Fresh >
look cat
Small and adorable, this black cat is one of the cutest animals ever.
However, she is extremely deadly as she keeps the bar free of mice and rat.
A small silvery necklace around its neck reads 'Rikki'.


should be "rats."

Also, any chance the armchairs can have a proper description, perhaps: "An inviting black velvet armchair rests here."?

Re: Typos

Post by Reyne » Sun Feb 17, 2019 2:00 am

When leaving Zamora:

Reyne wades into the water and disappears into the darkness.
Holding onto the drifwood, you begin to swim towards the opening.

Re: Typos

Post by Razhak » Mon Feb 11, 2019 5:38 pm

Smelting iron ore at the shadow smith

The shadowsmith takes the ore from a wodden barrel and turns to the furnace.

o HP:Hurt DP:Fading MV:Tiring >
Waves of blistering heat radiate from the furnace's depths and sear your flesh.

o HP:Hurt DP:Fading MV:Tiring >
Slowly the iron ore inside the furnace begins to melt.
A shrill piercing scream reverberates through the area.

o HP:Hurt DP:Fading MV:Tiring >
The shadowsmith smith plunges tongs into the furnace and removes an iron bar, dropping it on the ground.

Re: Typos

Post by Merrick » Mon Feb 04, 2019 3:39 am

An affable broker tells you 'For five vials, give me a shimmering pendant of obsisian or a shimmering chain of gold and say "buy vial yellow fluid".'

Re: Typos

Post by Melayna » Wed Jan 30, 2019 7:10 am

Dremond stroking "his" chin when you ask him about Justice.

Lord Dremond al'Moran strokes its chin thoughtfully.

Re: Typos

Post by Reyne » Mon Jan 28, 2019 1:50 am

1e of Gudha's Herbs in Tar Valon

Serpent Street

Looking down this street, the reasoning behind its name becomes quite
apparent. Carved onto most, if not all of the buildings and doors, are
snakes of all sorts. Great coiled serpents serve as pillars supporting
numerous scale tiled roofs while other ones, bronze colored, serve as
steadfast door handles. Earth Avenue crosses to the north while Eastside
Avenue intersects to the south. Serpent Street continues, making a big
arc thorugh the northern half of Tar Valon. A strong pungent medicinal
scent wafts by from the west.

Re: Typos

Post by Itesh » Thu Jan 17, 2019 4:56 am

Just as a reminder, guys, we really need people to post what zone or area these are in.

Re: Typos

Post by Lelisaei » Thu Jan 17, 2019 12:27 am

Got a couple of them here:

A forgetful traveler stands here examing the area.
Should be examining.

South End of the Huge Chamber
As you move about this massive cavernous chamber, you see a large stone slab
nearby, some dark substance having stained most of its surface. A narrow
stone stair rises up from the chamber wall, encircling this caverns huge
two hundred foot or more diameter as it rises to a small shelf barely visible
halfway up the walls that rise perhaps as much as twenty spans. Around the
chamber cirumferance torches have been carefully spaced, filling the chamber
with a dim red glow.
[ obvious exits: N U ]
Should be chamber's circumference.

Re: Typos

Post by Reyne » Thu Jan 10, 2019 1:33 am

A waterlogged Accepted (she wanders the Tower)

Water drips in great, swollen rivulets from the hem of the Accepted's
dress, the sodden cloth sticking damply to her legs. Her face is pinched
and sharp, bright eyes glimmering above her pointed nose. Her hair is tied
back with a simple length of brown ribbon, a small pendant on a leather
thing nestling between her breasts. Her slender waist is cinched with a
belt of embroidered leather in which a pair of leather gloves is tucked.

Should be 'a leather thong' I think? Is a leather cord?

Re: Typos

Post by Atienne » Mon Dec 24, 2018 9:07 am

mob: displacer beast

This creature would look a lot like a jet-black panther,
except for the bizaare tentacles which stretch over 8 feet long,
which sprout from the beast's flanks. Queer sunction cups line the
length of the tentacles, enabling this creature to squeeze its prey
to a painful death.

Some typos and one part sounds a little clumsy (two uses of which in a row with the comma)