Re: Typos

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Topic review

Expand view Topic review: Re: Typos

Re: Typos

Post by Reyne » Thu Jan 10, 2019 1:33 am

A waterlogged Accepted (she wanders the Tower)

Water drips in great, swollen rivulets from the hem of the Accepted's
dress, the sodden cloth sticking damply to her legs. Her face is pinched
and sharp, bright eyes glimmering above her pointed nose. Her hair is tied
back with a simple length of brown ribbon, a small pendant on a leather
thing nestling between her breasts. Her slender waist is cinched with a
belt of embroidered leather in which a pair of leather gloves is tucked.

Should be 'a leather thong' I think?

Re: Typos

Post by Atienne » Mon Dec 24, 2018 9:07 am

mob: displacer beast

This creature would look a lot like a jet-black panther,
except for the bizaare tentacles which stretch over 8 feet long,
which sprout from the beast's flanks. Queer sunction cups line the
length of the tentacles, enabling this creature to squeeze its prey
to a painful death.

Some typos and one part sounds a little clumsy (two uses of which in a row with the comma)

Re: Typos

Post by Yuna » Mon Dec 10, 2018 6:38 am

Someone gets An intricately carved black key from a soft leather pouch.

Someone tries to crush A skinny elf slave, but he deflects the blow.

Should be 'an intricately carved black key' and 'a skinny elf'.

Re: Typos

Post by Reyne » Sun Dec 09, 2018 11:24 pm

Illiara Maender

Short, and extremely thin, Illiara is petite, yet she has an incredibely
beautiful face, despite a few faded scars on her cheeks. Her high
cheekbones accent her delicate features, and she looks as though she would
shatter in an instant. Her accent marks her an Illianer, from city and
country. She looks to be trading various goods, and her keen eye and mind
are certainly alert.

Found her just outside 'Inside a Dark Cavern' East of Cairhien, I think she wanders around though.

Re: Typos

Post by Enok » Thu Nov 08, 2018 6:00 pm

1n allw rotten.

Overlooking the Stables
This small hill is overlooking some stables below. They looks old and
deserted and there is no telling for how long they have stood there. The
ground looks as dead as in any other part of the Blight. Dry sticks, the
only leftovers of some dead tree, are lying all around, ready to snap the
minute anything steps on them. The dried leaves makes it just as hard to
sneak around here as the sticks do, and who can tell what lies beneath them.
[ obvious exits: N E ]
A sickly, skinny deer stands here in a daze.
A small stick is lying on the ground here.

Edit: I poked around the zone and there are quite a few typos in that zone (north of the path leading up to the ruined keep). There's also an instance of a copied room description (intentional?). Anyway, the zone deserves some love and attention.

Re: Typos

Post by sevas » Wed Nov 07, 2018 10:31 am

A tall soldier is busy serving the interests of the Empress. She is
hardened by battle. Her face bears the scars and a black and blue bruise
covers her lower jaw. She is dressed in simple armor and sports the pelt of
some fierce cat around the edge of her dark grey cape. His movement is
fluid and her frame solid.

Re: Typos

Post by damena » Tue Oct 23, 2018 9:06 pm

Swordbrother mob

* HP:Healthy MV:Tiring > l swordbrother
]Large and broad shouldered, this man has a barrel chest and arms the size
of small trees. A true Domani man, with jet black hair and piercing green
eyes. Scars range all across his hands and face. A small scar runs from
just behind his left ear down the line of his jaw. This man has seen his
share of battles. He moves in alarming fluidity like a large predator.

Re: Typos

Post by Reyne » Mon Sep 24, 2018 10:04 pm

Brionne shows an apple to a gray palfrey.
A gray palfrey nuzzles at the apple, taking it from the hand of Brionne.
A gray palfrey cruches the crisp apple, eating contentedly.

Re: Typos

Post by Medez » Mon Sep 24, 2018 9:39 am

1d of the Massive Tree

In the Waterwood
The Waterwood streches in each direction as far as the eye can see. The trees
are of very large girth, and a particularly massive one stands nearby. Birds
flit from tree to tree far overhead, and their cries come down perodically to
the forest floor. The roots of the trees stand high above the ground; perhaps
it is possible to climb onto them and then into the treetops above.

In the Al'Donal Home
This home is characteristic of Two Rivers homes; it is furnished pratically
rather than lavishly. The people live by hard work and thrift, and their homes
reflect that fact. The home is very welcoming though, making up through charm
and ambience what it lacks in creature comforts. A door opens in the east wall.

1s of Al'Donal Home (shouldn't it be al'Donal?)

End of the Path
This Yard stands before the al'Donal home. The Al'Donels are another of the
many farming families that live in Two Rivers. A path begins here and heads
south through the Waterwood, first crossing the Water on stones set across the
shallow run. The path must lead eventually to Emond's Field; there is nowhere
else in Two Rivers that it could lead.

1e of Al'Donal Home
Al'Donel Pasture
This expansive pasture is home to the Al'Donel cattle. The only exit is to the
west back into the house. The Taren river flows by to the northeast, but the
way is blocked by a fence which saves cattle from their own folly.

2n1w Rae Home
Mud is everywhere-- on the ground, on the slat-boards which fence the pen,
and now on your feet. This is obviously a pigpen, and pigslop lies in a
trough and also on the ground.

Re: Typos

Post by Adael » Sat Sep 22, 2018 10:32 am

* R HP:Scratched MV:Winded >
The Royal Mews
The horses residing in these stables appear well cared for as they drowse
in their stalls. A thick bed of straw covers the ground in the stalls, and
each horse has some hay to chew on. Tack lies at the ready on a boom near
each stall, allowing a patrol to mount up and ride quickly. Wide open doors
to the north allow a view of the palace lawn and driveway. Towards the
back, a number of carriages and sedan chaisr have been parked.
[ obvious exits: N ]
An old wooden trough stands here, half filled with water.
A hanging lantern lights the path.
A tall dust-colored gelding prances in a circle here, being ridden by you.
A man walks among the horses here feeding them and rubbing them down.
A tall dust-colored gelding prances in a circle here.
A tall dust-colored gelding prances in a circle here.