Have you ever stood at the edge of something, and as far as the eye could see was stunning beauty? This is my life. I stand at the edge of a lake. The morning is calm and crisp. There is fog still, coming off the water. To my left, a small wood encroaches on the lake, tall trees with brilliantly colored leaves stretching out over the waves. To my right is our dock, with our little boat tied up tightly. Far across the water, the mountains rise in staggered steps towards the sky, nothing more than dark shapes of graduated gray in the morning haze. Behind me sits our cozy home with its small rooms and wide porch. The chickens are making a fuss over breakfast and the cat is laying on the step. He is there too, sitting in his rocking chair drinking his morning tea. He watches me, I know. Warmth fills me and I can’t keep the smile from my lips. This is my life. Beautiful.
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Have you ever stood at the edge of something, and as far as the eye could see was darkness? This is my life. I stand at the edge of an abyss. There’s a chill this morning. She’s down at the lake again. I feel…something…for her, but the love I had once is gone. Everything is gone. As I sip my tea, saidin rages within me. Though my face is calm as I watch her, inside I seethe with fury and pain. I channel a bit, just a breeze to move her hair and watch as she tilts her face into it. She’ll come back up soon, wanting to talk. She is still so young, even after all this time. So beautiful and full of life. I hate her. I’m going to kill her.
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“Lace!”
His yell breaks my reverie. Grinning, I head back to the house. He’ll be wanting breakfast. A twinge in my belly makes me amend my thought. We both will be wanting breakfast. I love these leisurely morning walks down to the lake, but all too soon the reality of the day sets in. After breakfast, there will be work and chores to be done. Some days I go into town, but not today. Today will be just us, working together, side by side. My pace quickens. I’m eager to touch him, to kiss him. Even after all these years, the flame still burns. He is my dream, my life, my husband.
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“Lace!”
She jumps a little at my yell. I’m starving and she’s daydreaming. I feel the rage building within me and quickly release
Saidin. Most things feel distant and empty when I seize the source, but Saidin amplifies my fury until it’s all I feel. As I release, I become aware of my heart racing, pounding heavily against my ribs. My breath comes fast and sharp. With great effort, I force my body to calm. As she climbs the path back up to our house, my heart beat slows and my breathing becomes more even. By the time she reaches the porch and stretches up for a kiss, I even have a small smile on my face for her. She loves me, I know, even after all these years. But she doesn’t know what I am. How could she? I tried to protect her. She was my dream, my life, my wife.